WORLD'S HOTTEST REALITY TV BABES
02 September 2010
Cheeky News
4 stars
Keeping up with the Kardashians
Kim is the planetoid-chested daughter of OJ Simpson’s ex-lawyer, and flanked by her rock-jawed sisters Khloe and Kourtney, she pouts through manufactured crises involving shoes and Chihuahuas. There’s the occasional bikini shoot, if you can wait it out.
Kim Kardashian
Watch Kim K's raunchy calendar footage
Kourtney Kardashian
Khloe Kardashian
Girls of the Playboy MansionHow Hugh Hefner remains alive is a mystery of medical science: our hearts couldn’t handle these three at once, let alone the identical twins he brings to the Mansion during the show. Fast-forward through the bits about clothes and you’ll be rewarded with delightful footage of their photo shoots.
Holly Madison
Bridget Marquardt
Kendra Wilkinson
A Shot of Love with Tila TequilaHer? The 4’11” bisexual self-proclaimed “Queen of MySpace” (she had two million friends before everyone got sick of MySpace) has a show? Yep — 15 blokes and 15 lesbians vie to be her lover. The verdict? Like drinking Drano. Hot, though.
Tila Tequila
Tila attacked on stage
The HillsChoke down the inevitable fantasies of storming the set with a truckbomb, Timmy McVeigh-style, every time the male co-stars appear, and you will receive a meaty chorus of thanks from within your pants. Yet more evidence that hot, rich, single women are happier than us.
Heidi Montag
Hiedi ATTEMPTS to sing
Audrina Patridge
Lauren Conrad
Stephanie Pratt
Denise Richards - It's ComplicatedThis lurid romp lurches wildly from the excellent (Playboy shoots, guest appearances by Will Ferrell) to the hideous (arranging a stud pig to breed with her pet sow… honestly). But at just shy of 40, Denise still has a body you could sharpen knives on.
Denise Richards
What Katie Did NextThe latest series follows Katie “Jordan” Price and three giant tits (her two and her cage-fighting beau, Alex Reid) as she comes to Australia to launch a new range of horseriding gear. Possibly not as terrible as it sounds, though don’t bet money on it.
Katie Price
Laguna BeachLaguna Beach was The Hills before The Hills was anything at all. Loads of spoilt teenagers being irritating but you don't care because they do it in bikinis.
Kristin Cavallari
The Pussy Cat Dolls - The Search for the next DollNicole Scherzinger and, y’know, the other ones search for another Doll to cavort with while we seethe with envy at Lewis Hamilton. The line-up of the Dolls has changed more often than the Western Bulldogs — but as long as Nicole’s there, who cares?
The Simple LifeThe little-known and camera-shy Paris Hilton makes a rare public appearance here with the daughter of that guy who sang that song that time. They work menial jobs and occasionally shriek, but often do
it in bikinis or lingerie so turn the sound off and enjoy.
Paris Hilton
A Model LifeLike Australia’s Next Top Model, except… no, it’s basically the same as ANTM. But make sure you only drool over the stupidly hot Petra, because the others are a bit too young and you don’t want to end
up in a cell with Dennis Ferguson.
Petra Nemcova
The CityThis spin-off of The Hills follows the eminently delectable Whitney Port as she moves to New York to become a fashion designer. Two complaints: one, New York’s too cold for bikinis, and two, who cares? For serious fans only.
Whitney Port
My Perfect LifeWe don't know about her life but she could have called the show My Perfect Arse and it would have been accurate. Swedish delicacy Victoria travels the world, mostly to those places that enable emerging from a swimming pool in slow-motion.
Victoria Silvstedt
Jersey ShoreThis is the show that regrettably introduced the terms “guido” and “guidette” to non-New Jersey Italians, and even more regrettably threw fist-sized lump of gristle Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi at the world. But the other “Joisey goils” are okay, in a two-beers sort of way.
Jenny Farley
Angelina Pivarnick