Hey, Shaun! So what’s the best perk to being funny?
Women. I’ll be honest with you: chicks dig me.

Is it possible that we’re going to get over-exposed to Shaun Micallef? And if so, what will you do to recapture Australia’s affection — a failed drug overdose and subsequent revival inside an expensive rehab facility?
I do worry that I’ll become over-exposed as Shaun Micallef, that’s why I moonlight as Jules Lund. Not many people know that we’re the same person, but I figured that by the time people were well and truly sick of me, I could just “disappear” and be Jules Lund exclusively.

Are you the only celebrity that doesn’t have a sex addiction?
If you want to label my 24-hour-a-day insatiable need for sex with multiple partners an “addiction”, then that’s up to you. As far as I’m concerned, it’s like an insulin dependency: if I don’t have it regularly, I black out and may have to have some toes removed.

Why does Generation Y team captainn Josh Thomas talk with an accent?
He’s from Brisbane. That’s how they all talk up in Brisbane.

If there was a nude MMS of you circulating among AFL insiders, what would be your response?
I don’t even know what an MMS is... ... or the AFL, for that matter.

We’ve always preferred the name Sean over Shaun. With that in mind, have you ever considered changing it via deed poll?
I’ve not considered changing my name via deed poll but I have considered changing it to Deed Poll. It sounds kinda powerful, don’t you think?

Would you ever have Botox?
I don’t have wrinkles. I’m very lucky, I’m blessed with flawless beauty. I don’t use any emollients or balms or lotions. My secret is clean living, plenty of water and bathing in human blood.

You used to be an insurance lawyer, so we assume you have pretty good life insurance — does that mean if you die inexplicably in a “tragic accident”, your wife inherits loads of money? And does that worry you at all?
Funny you should say that — I have woken up one or two times in the middle of the night to find my wife standing over me with a hunting knife. I’ve always put it down to my snoring, though.

Is it true your missus bullied you into a career in comedy?
Yes. I didn’t want to do it at all. I wanted to run a lawn mowing business. Being a comedy genius was always second choice.

As an ex-lawyer, does Channel 10 allow you to vet your own material? Or does it have to be filtered by a phalanx of ambulance chasers?
My arrangement with Channel 10 is simple — I come into the studio every Sunday at 7.30 and host the show, and they get down on their knees and thank me. It works out well for both of us.

Do you still have your courtroom wig, and if so, does it still have pride of place on your mantelpiece?
I never had a courtroom wig. Instead, I used to style my own hair every morning so that it looked like one. I still have my silk robe and gaiters, though, and will sometimes wear these down to the shops to get the milk.

It’s taken a while for the Great Unwashed to catch on to your style of humour. Now that Talkin’ ’Bout Your Generation is such a ratings hit, how do you feel?
I think it’s very important to be able to connect with the heartland audience, for as Cicero once said: “Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi, sed saepe cadendo.” [The drop hollows out the stone by frequent dropping, not by force.]

Now that Rove McManus has taken a sabbatical to star in The Hobbit, does that leave the door open for you to step in and take his place as Channel 10’s new late-night anchor?
Only if it works out like the Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien debacle — I do the show for seven months and then he comes back and takes over.

When was the last time you said “nerny, nerny, ner, ner” to someone?
I believe it was when I was still a lawyer. The judge found it a wholly unconvincing closing address.

Who was your biggest influence, Daryl Somers or Agro?
Daryl and Agro have both played a part in moulding me — but I owe my biggest debt to Mal Walden.


As a celeb, how do you handle it when a fan corners you on a plane or in an airport?
I have my goons beat them mercilessly.

Why is it Paul McDermott, the host of Good News Week, always insists on singing over his own show’s theme song? He must be a total nightmare on Channel 10’s staff karaoke nights.
Paul has the voice of an angel, and I’ve asked him several times to come on our show and sing the What’s A Doodle Do? song. He has always refused. Turd.

Is it true that all comedians are really sad clowns, morose and dejected when they’re offstage and out of the limelight?
I think the really great ones have tragic lives. The mediocre ones like me are perfectly happy.

Which is scarier: doing stand-up comedy or robbing a bank?
At least when you rob a bank you’re wearing a mask — and have a chance of making some money.

Which celeb would you like to see strip for ZOO?
Do you think former Ukranian PM Yulia Tymoshenko would be up for it?

Lastly, Shaun, while watching the three-hour-long Avatar, at what point did you have to duck out and use the men’s room, and did you or did you not leave your 3D glasses on whilst urinating?
I wear Depends.

Catch Talkin’ ’Bout Your Generation on Sunday, 7.30pm, on Channel 10

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