G’day, Heath! Didn’t you die in a New York apartment?Huh?
You know, when you were The Joker…I’m not sure what you’re talking about, mate.
Must be another Heath. Anyway... There’s another actor over in North Carolina who’s also named Heath Franklin. If he was impersonating you, what type of bloke would he be?The poor bloke would have to be pretty desperate for work to be impersonating me.
You look pretty comfy with your drink there. What’s the earliest you’ve ever cracked open a cold one?If it’s a bourbon and coke, that’s fine. But after a few beers, I get that whole, “F*ck it, I can’t be bothered doing anything,” mentality and my whole afternoon is lost. Every day on The Ronnie Johns Half Hour was like that. Afternoons just became a contest to see who could pull the worst pranks on each other or have the most hazy session on Facebook.
Why be Chopper when you could have just been a lazy fat bastard and called yourself Kyle Sandilands?Ha ha! I never really had a plan with Chopper. It started at uni as something I would do with mates and somehow ended up here. All that YouTube coverage certainly helped.
Was it your idea to post the links?It all started with this bloke who ran a porn website and had links to videos of various filth. At the very bottom of the list would be a link to my Chopper stuff. So there’ll be some guy trying to rub one out while watching “Three Girls Dine Out On Each Other” and then somehow he’s found himself watching “Chopper Does The Weather”.
That’s a little unnerving…I’m not sure how many erections I’ve unintentionally spoilt, but I’m just hoping there’s not a small fetish group out there who dig the ’stache and fake tatts.
You’re recently married. How does the missus feel about the impersonations — is it ever requested in the bedroom?F**k no! Oh, God… no, never. She’s really good at taking the piss out of me, which shits me to tears. Her impersonation of me isn’t completely inaccurate and quite terrible, but it gets under my skin just enough to…...
make you want to channel Chopper and dish out some tough love?What? No, I was going to say to annoy me.
Oh, of course.
A lot of celebrities are releasing sex tapes — is it time for the Heath Franklin sex tape to be released, or the Heath Franklin as Chopper sex tape?
Ha ha! The Chopper sex tape will probably arrive before the Heath Franklin one. People wouldn’t want to watch that, would they?
Well, there may be a niche market out there for moustachioed comedians...
True, there is that bloke who was putting me on his porn sites, so maybe it’s worth a limited distribution.
Chopper’s going to kick the bucket due to hepatitis C — what’s going to end you?
I’ll be lucky if it’s not him — I’d consider that a minor victory. Knowing my luck, I’d probably choke to death on my own moustache.
You’re lucky you’re portraying Chopper that you can stay a fat bastard and say it’s for the acting role — would you go the opposite way and lose weight for a role?I’d give it an honest crack. I’d be more apprehensive if someone asked me to put
on more weight. If I had a personal trainer and all the facilities the Hollywood blokes have, then it would be easier. I’d probably just struggle with the drinking.
How so?If you spend all day eating carrots and tofu on the treadmill, then eventually you’re going to want to reward yourself with a drink. And what would you do after a long day at work? Have a mocktail?
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