G’day Jenson. Being an F1 driver must be pretty cruisy. Turn up, drive a few laps, then collect the cash, models and titles. Right?
Er, no. Take a race weekend — even the smallest mistakes bug me. If I’ve qualified fifth on the grid, I’ll be thinking about whether I could have gone half a tenth of a second quicker — even if it had no bearing on my position. I’ll be thinking about it at night and when I wake up in the morning — my first thought will be about that tiny fraction of time. I dwell on those details obsessively. That’s something I need to get over. I’m really struggling with it.

But with all the cash and fame, surely women are falling over themselves to snag you…
Some people might think of me as ideal boyfriend material, but I doubt I am. It’s a stressful business. You need someone by your side who is going to tell you exactly how it is and know how to pick you up when things aren’t going well.

The odds are against you to win the title twice in a row. How confident are you of repeating the feats of last season?
If I’ve learnt anything it’s that winning tastes a lot sweeter when the odds have been stacked against me. Right now, I’m more passionate about my sport than ever. Every time I get into that car and close my helmet, I’m smiling from ear-to-ear.

You’re aggressive on the track, are you an absolute nutter off it as well?
At school, I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. But now, when I put my racing helmet on, I completely change. Instead of being placid and relaxed, I turn into an absolute maniac.

JENSON IN ACTION

Have you even been stopped for speeding and then had a policeman ask, “Who do you think you are, Jenson Button?”
Ha ha! No, that hasn’t happened. But I did get stopped a few years ago for speeding in the south of France, and the police were big fans of racing. I didn’t get let off, but they made it a bit easier for me, which was good.

You’re a fan of Snoop Dogg, so do you throw up gang signs up as you’re rolling through the hood?
Yeah… in my Smart Car! I’m not very rock ’n’ roll when it comes to driving around Monaco. I’ve got a cabriolet Smart Car — it’s the car to have in the south of France.

Come on, ’fess up — are you Top Gear’s The Stig?
No, I’m not The Stig! Did you watch the one where Michael Schumacher was dressed up as The Stig? I’m not sure it’s him — the guy’s pretty busy at the moment — but whoever it is, he’s a good driver.

You don’t know his identity, then?
I do have some ideas of who it is, but I can’t say. I can tell you that I know his voice — he does talk now and again!

You’re filming an advert for Head & Shoulders. A shampoo commercial? Really?
Hey — I might look a bit of a mess sometimes but I still like grooming myself! This stuff is all a bit new to me, but it’s actually pretty cool. This house that we’re filming in has got two pools. I mean, who needs two pools?

The driving simulator at McLaren — is it like having the most amazing PlayStation ever?
It is! It’s so real that when you go off the circuit and you’re heading towards the barrier, you instinctively close your eyes and take your hands off the wheel because you think it’s going to hurt. It’s not the real thing, obviously — it’s still a game when you look at the screen — but you get G-force and when you run over a kerb, the car jumps up and down.

So are you a more risky driver in the simulator, because you know you can get away with it?
You do still get a shock when you go off, but it doesn’t really hurt. So yeah, I guess I am trying new things. Mind you, we still have to try to be consistent, so we’re not taking short cuts like we’re playing Mario Kart!

Speaking of Mario Kart, if you could put weapons on F1 cars, what would you arm yours with?
Good question. The Mario Kart special weapons are pretty cool. I’d probably have the banana skin, because hopefully I’d be in the lead all the time, so I wouldn’t need the firing shells. So yeah, I’ll go for the banana skins out the back.

Nice choice. Have you ever nicked anything from the McLaren garage?
The only thing I want is the car. I’ve tried, but you can’t start it without three people typing stuff into computers! I did manage to drive a superbike out of a garage and down the pit lane once, but I’d never ridden a bike before in my life so I didn’t know what I was doing. I was trying to nick it, but I was so bad at riding it, they caught up with me.

You’re competing in fast cars, but who would win in a sprint between you and Lewis Hamilton?
I reckon we’re probably pretty strong in different disciplines, but if we were actually racing for something, I think it would be a pretty good competition. Maybe they should start organising running races? We could even have a three-legged race?

TWO GIRLS ONE CHAMPIONSHIP CUP...

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