It’s the fear of every surfer, every diver… hell, of every sane person who’s ever gone more than ankle-deep off the coast: evil demonic spawn-of-Satan sharks, lurking just out of sight and waiting to nibble one of your appendages clean off your body. We’d hoped that by 2010, either science, over-fishing or rampant pollution would have consigned these creations of a vengeful God to extinction, but here they are, still biting pieces off Navy divers and spearfishers with impunity. Read on to discover the odds that you’ll end up inside one and how to protect yourself…
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE EATEN BY A SHARKCalifornian surfer Rodney Orr was attacked by a great white while spearfishing two kilometres offshore. It was the second time he’s been bitten by a shark. Orr explains just what it feels like to have a full-grown great white chomp down on your head…
“I was on my paddleboard in the Pacific near Santa Rosa, California. I was getting ready to dive off the side and go spearfishing when the lights went out. I heard this big, loud noise that sounded like a garage door slamming, and everything went completely dark. “All of a sudden, I could see these big white things out of my left eye. At first I thought it was busted fibreglass. The first thing that went through my mind was that a boat must have run over me and stuffed my head through my board. But as soon as I touched the white things, I realised they were teeth.
Rodney Orr, after the attack where a great white latched onto his head.
“He had a hold of my head. I was at a right angle to his mouth, hanging out the side. The front teeth were buried in through my cheekbones and my nose. It was quick and sharp. The teeth felt like razors. When he clamped onto me, there was a God-awful crunch. I heard the crunching of teeth plowing through bone, but it didn’t hurt — something in the brain must click so you don’t feel it ’til later. “He didn’t take me down – he took me out of the water. The shark had me up out of the water! And the sea was kind of flying by. I tried to pull my head out, so I reached up on the shark and it was flat, like the side of a car, and it had a sandpapery feel. And then I just started pounding on it. I went berserk. I ended up shredding my gloves on its teeth. I was just striking at him blind. I don’t know if that’s what made him let loose of me — if he would’ve finished the bite, I would’ve had no brain. “He had a hold of me for eight to 12 seconds, and we probably travelled about 60 to 70 feet. All of a sudden, I just popped out of the shark’s mouth — he just let me go. When the thing let go, it went underneath me, and
I saw part of its head. It was a great white, and its head was wider than my shoulders.
“I swam back to my board. I was bleeding like hell, blood pouring out of my nose, out of my face. I couldn’t feel nothing from the top of my head to my butt on the right side. I had a two-and-a-quarter-inch hole in the back of my neck. I got back on my board, got my board turned over, got on and bailed out. I paddled back, you know, by myself, a mile and a quarter. Got back to the beach. Help was there. They air-freighted me off the beach in a helicopter to the hospital, which took about an hour. And then they started sewing me up. Now I’ve got one bad scar near the corner of my eye and across my nose, but they’ve faded down a lot.
I’ve been back in the water one time since; I did a triathlon. But I don’t go out and swim recreationally. These days, I pretty much stick to swimming pools.”
WHAT'S EATING YOU?
Being eaten by a shark right now? Use ZOO's handy guide to tell exactly what manner of hellbeast is devouring you...
Great White sharkSize: 4-6 metres
Distribution: Southern coasts of Australia, South Africa, California, New Zealand.
Distinguishing features: Large snout, grey dorsal area, white underside, swims close to the surface, lifts snout above water to spot prey, cannibal.
Attack style: Ambush hunters; take prey by surprise from below.
Last attack: On November 1, 2009, in Victoria, kayaker Rhys Gadsden was tipped from his vessel and head-butted by a white shark, which fled after Gadsden struck it five times with his paddle.
Oceanic Whitetip sharkSize: 2.4-6 metres
Distribution: Deep, open water; as far north as Spain; as far south as southern Victoria.
Distinguishing features: Stocky with extremely long, round, white-tipped fins; has attacked more humans than all other shark species combined; eats whale crap.
Attack style: Slow approach and then sudden frenzy.
Last attack: On June 1, 2009, French snorkeller Katrina Tipio broke away from her dive group to approach an oceanic whitetip. She died from massive injuries.
2.4-4 metres
Distribution: Equatorial and sub-equatorial regions as far as the southern tip of Australia. Freshwater tolerant, so hunt in rivers. Estimated there are more than 500 bull sharks living in Brisbane River and even more in the canals of the Gold Coast.
Distinguishing features: Stocky body, flat snout, fantastic acceleration, unpredictable. Solitary hunters but occasionally work in pairs. Bull sharks are thought to be territorial. Once attacked a racehorse in Brisbane River.
Attack style: ”Bump ’n’ bite” — thought to be a test to see if potential prey is alive.
Last attack: On September 26, 2009. Daniel Callahan went for a swim on a Florida beach and was attacked by an eight-foot bull shark. Required 130 internal and external stitches.
Tiger sharkSize: 3.5-4.5 metres
Distribution: Mainly equatorial and sub-equatorial regions; has been spotted as far north as Japan and as far south as New Zealand. Frequent visitors to shallow reefs and harbours.
Distinguishing features: Dark tiger stripes, wedge-shaped head, male bites female during sex, have been known to swallow car tyres and license plates.
Attack style: Waits until night; uses long upper tail for sudden bursts of high speed.
Last attack: On October 29, 2009, a 14ft tiger shark bit a 54-year-old surfer in the thigh and ankle off the coast of South Maui, Hawaii.
Hammerhead sharkSize: 2-6 metres
Distribution: All temperate and tropical waters; continental shelves.
Distinguishing features: Crazy flattened head gives it 360 degree vision; also affords it more efficient distribution of electroreceptory sensor pores, which enable it to detect electrical signal in prey of just half-a-billionth of a volt. Like pigs and humans, hammerheads can tan.
Attack style: Hunt in packs of up to 100 during the day, whilst going it alone at night. Small mouths indicate hammerheads are typically bottom feeders.
Last attack: In summer of 2008, a hammerhead attacked surfer Chase Edwards at Playas de Tijuana, Mexico, leaving him 75 stitches, a 17-inch scar and a shark tooth in his leg as a trophy.
HOW TO FIGHT OFF A SHARK!Take on a big toothy dorsal-finned bastard adn win... Unless, er, it takes your arms and legs with the first bite.
GOUGE AT ITS EYES:The eyes are the most sensitive part of a shark’s body, and if you can get a thumb into one, you’ll distract the monster if not scare it away altogether.
IF YOU CAN GRAB ANY OBJECT, USE IT!If you are a diver, keep a knife strapped to your calf (actually, if you can spend your whole life with a knife strapped to your calf, that’s not a bad idea, either). Use anything you can grab to hit the shark: a camera, a rock, or a smaller, weaker person. If you have only your bare hands, use knees and elbows. (If you have only your bear hands, use them like a bear! Grraah!)
DON'T THRASH ABOUT:This one might be hard to remember while you’re being attacked by a goddamn shark, but if you can avoid thrashing and splashing, do it. Vibrations in the water will only further draw the shark’s attention (and the attention of any other sharks around) — plus, erratic movements give the appearance of being wounded (especially if you actually are wounded), and wounded animals are more attractive prey to a shark. The bastards...
PUNCH IT IN THE SNOUT:The shark’s snout is covered with the “ampullae of Lorenzini”, a electroreceptor organ that allows the shark to detect electromagnetic fields for long-distance navigation. Pounding the snout will likely cause the shark to become disoriented, which will hopefully give you enough time to escape.
AIM FOR THE GILL OPENINGS:Unlike most fish, sharks’ gills aren’t covered – they have between five and seven exposed gill slits on each side, behind the head. Gills have to be delicate to allow them to draw oxygen from the water, so get a kick in there and it’s like a boot in the nuts to a human.
FIGHT BACK!Don’t play dead, and don’t try to outswim it. Great whites can swim at 40kmh — that’s five times faster than Michael Phelps’ record-breaking 50-metre dash, so there’s no chance that you’ll outpace it. “I advise to be as aggressively defensive as you are able,” says George Burgess from the International Shark Attack File at Florida’s Museum of Natural History. “Playing dead does not work. Pound the shark in any way possible. Try to claw at the eyes and gill openings, two very sensitive areas. Avoid using your bare hands or feet if you can avoid it.” Why? A shark’s skin is like sandpaper, so if you scratch yourself up on its hide and start bleeding in the water, you’ll only fire the toothy bastard up even more.
Have you ever seen a shark out in the ocean while surfing or swimming?
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