
Struggle with witty one liners to hang crap on your mates? Well not anymore, simply memorise this 'funniest insults' list and you'll be ready to fire back the next time a mate gets a bit too smart for his own good. Watch the
video below
WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP
Sidney Deane: I seen your mother kicking a can down the street. I said, ‘What you doin’?’ and she said, ‘Moving.’
HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLESidney Young: I don’t know the meaning of the word “fear”.
Alison Olsen: There are a lot of words I’m sure you don’t know the meaning of.
THERE WILL BE BLOODDaniel Plainview: Stop crying, you snivelling ass! Stop your nonsense. You’re just an afterbirth, Eli. You slithered out of your mother’s filth. They should have put
you in a glass jar on the mantelpiece.
DODGEBALLPatches O’Houlihan: [Giving the pre-match pep talk] Will someone catch a goddamn ball? It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!
Patches O’Houlihan: Son, you’re about as useful as a c--- flavoured lollipop!
DETROIT ROCK CITYHawk: If the lesson is you’re a d--- with ears and a really bad haircut, I’d say, yeah, I’ve learned my lesson.
WAYNE'S WORLDGarth: Benjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice-cream flavour, he’d
be pralines and d---.
SEXY BEASTDon: You’re the problem, you Dr White-honkin’ jam-rag spunk-bubble!
STEPBROTHERSBrennan Huff: I’m gonna shove your hearing aid so far up your ass, you can hear the sound of your intestines producing sh--!
THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERTBernadette: Why don’t you just light your tampon and blow your box apart? Because it’s the only bang you’re ever gonna get, sweetheart!
ANCHORMANRon Burgundy: You’re a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, then take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
BRüNOBrüno: [To a terrorist] Can I give you guys a word of advice? Lose the beards, because your King Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard… or a homeless Santa!
THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANETourist: We’re from Wisconsin.
Ford: Yeah, and I’m from my dad’s penis. Get lost!
FUNNY PEOPLEChuck: You’re not funny. You look funny, but you’re not funny!
BILLY MADISONSchool Principal: Mr Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
THE HANGOVERStu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
GARDEN STATESam: If there was a retarded Oscar, you would win, hands down.
RAGING BULLJake LaMotta: You punch like you take it up the a--!
BORATBorat: Her vazhin is like sleeve of wizard’s robe.
ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNODeacon: I’m gonna hate-f--- the shit out of you, ref!
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS Dale Denton: Why don’t you go f--- yourself, you weird little pr---?
Mr Edwards: I’m a teacher, okay? You can’t talk to me like that!
Dale Denton: Well, I’m not a student, so I can say whatever I want, you chimp-banging bastard!
40-YEAR-OLD VIRGINDavid: You know how I know you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.
JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACKJay: We’re gonna make ’em eat our sh--, then sh-- out our sh--, then eat their sh--, which is made up of our sh-- that we made ’em eat.
TROPIC THUNDERLes Grossman: C---burn, from now on, my fist’s going to be so far up your sh--hole, every time you have a thought, it’ll have to tiptoe past my wedding ring!
Les Grossman: I couldn’t have done it without you.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Really?
Les Grossman: No, d**khead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATIONClark Griswold: You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing,
low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d---less, hopeless, heartless, fat-a--, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey sh--!
TEAM AMERICAChris: If you betray us, I'll rip your balls off and stuff them up your a--. So, next time you sh--, you'll sh-- all over your balls.
IN THE LOOPMalcolm Tucker: You get sarcastic again and I’ll stuff so much cotton wool down your throat it’ll come out your a-- like a wee tail on a Playboy bunny.
Tourist: Enough with the curse words!
Malcolm Tucker: Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat f---!
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