ZOO Weekly

WORLD'S FUNNIEST INSULTS

11 February 2010
News
2 stars
Comments:21
Struggle with witty one liners to hang crap on your mates? Well not anymore, simply memorise this 'funniest insults' list and you'll be ready to fire back the next time a mate gets a bit too smart for his own good. Watch the video below










WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP
Sidney Deane: I seen your mother kicking a can down the street. I said, ‘What you doin’?’ and she said, ‘Moving.’

HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE

Sidney Young: I don’t know the meaning of the word “fear”.
Alison Olsen: There are a lot of words I’m sure you don’t know the meaning of.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Daniel Plainview: Stop crying, you snivelling ass! Stop your nonsense. You’re just an afterbirth, Eli. You slithered out of your mother’s filth. They should have put
you in a glass jar on the mantelpiece.

DODGEBALL

Patches O’Houlihan: [Giving the pre-match pep talk] Will someone catch a goddamn ball? It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O’Houlihan: Son, you’re about as useful as a c--- flavoured lollipop!

DETROIT ROCK CITY

Hawk: If the lesson is you’re a d--- with ears and a really bad haircut, I’d say, yeah, I’ve learned my lesson.


WAYNE'S WORLD
Garth: Benjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice-cream flavour, he’d
be pralines and d---.

SEXY BEAST

Don: You’re the problem, you Dr White-honkin’ jam-rag spunk-bubble!

STEPBROTHERS

Brennan Huff: I’m gonna shove your hearing aid so far up your ass, you can hear the sound of your intestines producing sh--!

THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT

Bernadette: Why don’t you just light your tampon and blow your box apart? Because it’s the only bang you’re ever gonna get, sweetheart!


ANCHORMAN
Ron Burgundy: You’re a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?

Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, then take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

BRüNO

Brüno: [To a terrorist] Can I give you guys a word of advice? Lose the beards, because your King Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard… or a homeless Santa!

THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE

Tourist: We’re from Wisconsin.
Ford: Yeah, and I’m from my dad’s penis. Get lost!

FUNNY PEOPLE

Chuck: You’re not funny. You look funny, but you’re not funny!

BILLY MADISON
School Principal: Mr Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


THE HANGOVER
Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.

GARDEN STATE
Sam: If there was a retarded Oscar, you would win, hands down.

RAGING BULL

Jake LaMotta: You punch like you take it up the a--!

BORAT

Borat: Her vazhin is like sleeve of wizard’s robe.

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Deacon: I’m gonna hate-f--- the shit out of you, ref!


PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Dale Denton: Why don’t you go f--- yourself, you weird little pr---?
Mr Edwards: I’m a teacher, okay? You can’t talk to me like that!
Dale Denton: Well, I’m not a student, so I can say whatever I want, you chimp-banging bastard!

40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN

David: You know how I know you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Jay: We’re gonna make ’em eat our sh--, then sh-- out our sh--, then eat their sh--, which is made up of our sh-- that we made ’em eat.


TROPIC THUNDER
Les Grossman: C---burn, from now on, my fist’s going to be so far up your sh--hole, every time you have a thought, it’ll have to tiptoe past my wedding ring!

Les Grossman: I couldn’t have done it without you.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Really?
Les Grossman: No, d**khead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION
Clark Griswold: You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing,
low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d---less, hopeless, heartless, fat-a--, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey sh--!


TEAM AMERICA
Chris: If you betray us, I'll rip your balls off and stuff them up your a--. So, next time you sh--, you'll sh-- all over your balls.

IN THE LOOP
Malcolm Tucker: You get sarcastic again and I’ll stuff so much cotton wool down your throat it’ll come out your a-- like a wee tail on a Playboy bunny.

Tourist: Enough with the curse words!
Malcolm Tucker: Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat f---!




So users, which one is your favourite movie insult?


Related stories:
BE AMANDA'S VALENTINE'S

ASHLEE’S SEX BLOG: SKIN PROTECTION

BABE OF THE DAY: CIKITA

MOTORBOATING ON THE SET OF PIRANAH 3-D
TRAVIS PASTRANA IS A FREAK
RALPH: FUNNIEST AUSSIES

Please login or register to post a comment.

  • Shrek3

    someone going to end up at is-cheater.com database, lol

  • PussyLicker

    anchorman:I will smash your face into a car windshield, then take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

     leave the mothers out of this

     

    and Anchorman:You’re a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?

     

  • Shi

    Wayne's World, party time, excellent, woo woo woo!

  • RhysHole

    Louis CK has one of the best I have heard.

    "you know when you were being born the doctor said 'hey look, there's some **** coming out of some ****'s ****!'"

  • alucard

    i think my mum has said some of things to me before



Also on Ninemsn