The “blitz” approach is not going to work in regular pick-up joints like pubs and clubs. Girls roam there in groups, and it’s going to take a lot longer than 30 seconds to build trust with her and her mates. You want to home in swift and deadly, like a dating cobra or something else deadly like that.
1 - On the bus This one’s difficult, because often people don’t speak on public transport. But buck the trend and remember there are strategies that can work. You’ll look like a knob if they fail, but.
Who to go for: Ideally you’re searching for someone from out of town who’s likely to have some free time.
What to say: “Do you know how to get to St Kilda/Manly Beach/Saturn/other place she is unlikely to know?” She hopefully says “no” because she’s from out of town. You can both get directions off a stranger, and explore the city together — the date unfurls before you. Just try not to give away the fact that you know your way around.
Avoid if: You have a shred of honesty.
2 - In the supermarket The advantage here is that nobody expects anything more than bread and milk to get picked up, so your target‘s guard will be down. Bump into her “accidentally” and apologise, along with eye contact and a smile. If it gets returned, that’s a green light.
Who to go for: The hot babe in front of you/behind you in the checkout line. Extra points for the checkout chick.
What to say: “Sorry! Hey, Froot Loops! I haven’t eaten them since I was eight… are they for your little bro?” Hopefully she’s got a few items and there’ll be a couple of minutes for you to make nice and grab her number.
What not to say: “You’re not going to need all the roughage in your basket once I’m done with you.”
Avoid if: Your mugshot’s on the wall in the supermarket security office.
3 - At the local park It’s a cliché, but chicks dig guys with puppies. Maybe it says something about nurturing ability, maybe it’s because a three-month-old daschund is better-looking than you.
Who to go for: The lucky girl who comes up and starts playing with your, uh, labradoodle.
What to say: “Have you got a dog?” She says “yes”, or “no” — whatever, doesn't matter. “Pets are great for the soul,” you respond. “You/your dog should come and spend some time with my pup. When are you free?” She names a time. “All right. You’d better show up, or he’ll be disappointed. Here’s my dog’s phone number in case you need to contact him.” Give her your number, then say, “I’m his answering service. And I’d better get yours as well — I screen his calls.”
What not to say: “Mine’s bigger than the dog’s/Want a Meaty Bite?”
Avoid if: It’s raining, or you don’t own a dog, ’cos the above could get weird.
4 - In a café This works best if you’re in a group and she’s alone. Cross-table chatter happens all the time so it won’t seem obvious, and you can borrow sugar/an ashtray/napkins and strike up a conversation from there.
Who to go for: The nearest halfway attractive girl to your table not involved in a conversation.
What to say: “Can I borrow your sugar/salt/pepper? Hey, great tattoo/piercing/flick-knife (pick something distinctive). I could never pull that off. What’s your name?” And once things are going well, invite her to join your table.
What not to say: “So, you like coffee…?”
Avoid if: You’re allergic to caffeine. Or sex.
5 - On holiday People don’t just take holidays from their homes, they take them from their lives as well. When a girl’s out backpacking/cruising/standing on a street corner in a miniskirt saying “Hey, lover”, she’ll do things she’d never consider at home around her friends.
Who to go for: Another hot tourist (large groups will take longer than 30 seconds). If she’s looking around, bored, go over and introduce yourself.
What to say: “Where are you from?” Make pleasant chit-chat, but don’t force it once it dries up. Invite her to a local nightspot that night, and tell her if she doesn’t show, you’ll go to her home town and tell everyone what a flake she is. Get her to commit to a time and place, and turn up there looking sharp.
What not to say: “So, anyway, yeah, umm, I hear backpackers do anal?”
Avoid if: You’re escaping a life of endless commitment-free shagging.
Check out these hilarious dating videos from the 80's!
What's your ideal pick up spot? Tell us by commenting below.
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