BLOKES GUIDE: DRESS TO IMPRESSIf there is a Heaven, we’re pretty sure blokes up there can wear nothing but stubbies, a singlet and thongs for eternity, without their relaxed attire getting in the way of getting laid… But down here in the cold, harsh reality of life, it seems that if you want a woman to rip your clothes off in a fit of passion, you better make damn sure that those clothes she’s flinging to all corners of the room are nice ones. Yes, it’s one of those sad, sorry facts of life, gentlemen, but first impressions do last. And even though women will be the first to tell you that it’s “what’s inside that counts” when it works in their favour, they’ll also be the first to brush you off if you’re wearing a ripped t-shirt or dirty sneakers. Yep, ladies can be a judgemental, hypocritical bunch at the best of times, so if you really want to get their attention, you’re going to have to play their game and dress yourself properly…
Do put some thought into the shoes.
Two things we’ll never fully comprehend: time travel, and women’s obsession with shoes. Just deal with it and buy a pair of casual leather shoes that you can wear with jeans or trousers.
Don’t be afraid to accessorise.
A nice watch, interesting necklace or bracelet will work wonders for your sex appeal. Just don’t go overboard with the bling. Flavor Flav’s giant clock necklaces were never cool…
Do get your hair cut by a pro. A quick number 2 at home with clippers may seem like the most time and cost effective solution, but forking out for a decent trim by a pro you trust every 2-3 weeks will impress the ladies a lot more.
Don’t wear a baseball cap. Okay, so your footy team had the best win of the season that day. Instead of wearing the club’s cap, find other ways to support them. Er, like yelling “Carn the Eels!” in the faces of random passers-by…
Do get rid of the trakkie daks. Comfort is not a priority here, gents. Looking sharp is. Stock up on several pairs of well fitting jeans for casual occasions and some nice pairs of trousers for day to day use.
Don’t let the follicles roam free. Facial hair is good in moderation. Too much says “I’m a pants-wetting street corner hobo”, but a nice, trimmed goatee or five o’clock shadow can look good.
Do invest in a quality jacket. Spending a little cash here is recommended. If your outer layer is a nice blazer or leather jacket, your inner layer can be a two dollar rag you picked up from Vinnies and no-one will ever know.
Don’t be a walking logo.Avoid wearing clothes with ostentatious logos plastered all over them. You’ll look like you’re trying way too hard if your shirt says “Dolce and Gabbana” on it.
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BLOKES GUIDE TO BECOMING MARRIAGE MATERIAL