MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eric Roberts With a line-up like that, the baddies don’t stand a chance!
Purportedly the action movie to end all action movies, this project has been Sly’s baby from the outset — gather the entire ensemble of Hollywood’s most famous all-time action heroes (plusa few big wrestling names), chuck ’em smack-bang in one movie, and then systematically kill ’em all off.
That Stallone was able to achieve it at all (even wrangling in the retired Schwarzenegger) deserves some backslapping kudos, but does it work? Well, yes and no.
An elite team of wisecracking mercs are hired to do one last impossible mission. They pull it off, but are then double-crossed by their client and left for dead. Alas, as the principal stars, Sly and Statham’s chemistry is a little off, while Dolph, Bruce and Arnie’s appearances are little more than cameos. Likewise, the dialogue is clunkier than our ancient shitbox’s gearbox.
Still, stuff blows up in a satisfactory fashion,the bad guys get their payback, and someone’d better call Guinness World Records, ’cos surely this sets a record for more human growth hormone injected on-set than ever before!
But the real Mister Snufflelupagus in the room: where the hell is Van Damme? Bit of an oversight, that.
Rating: 4/5
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