IN THE ZOO WITH...DEAD LETTER CIRCUSThe debut album from Brisbane rockers Dead Letter Circus has debuted at number two on the Aussie albums chart this week, surpassing veteran chart-toppers k.d. lang and AC/DC.
Cool album, fellas. It rocks. But what’s with all these high-singing prog-rock bands like you guys, The Butterfly Effect and Karnivool at the moment? Did your singers all have unfortunate BMX accidents before hitting puberty?Kim Benzie (singer): Yes. Although, none of those other bands actually have testicles, whereas I just have the ability to suck mine back up into my body when I need to. Hence the high notes.
Rob Maric (guitar): Basically, our producer extensively mic’d-up Kim’s mangina with all the world’s top valve mics. Came out sounding awesome, too.
We thought as much. Why did you call your album This Is The Warning? It’s kinda a bit ominous, isn’t it?Rob: That’s actually a typo. It’s meant to read This Is The Warney — it’s our collection of songs cataloguing the life of Shane Warne. Original concept, huh?
Kim: Yeah, like this… [singing in an off-key falsetto] ...“This is the Warney, This is the Warney…”
Ouch, you’re not quite hitting those notes, Kim…Kim: I know. You see, that’s the shitty thing about doing interviews — there’s never any AutoTune.
On the film clip to your single The Space On The Wall, your drummer Licka plays his kit using giant frankfurters, carrots and celery sticks. Please explain.Rob: If I may interrupt briefly, that’s actually another typo — it’s meant to be The Hole In The Wall.
Kim: Yeah, it’s our take on glory holes, basically. And that’s also why we used sausages in the clip — those big frankfurters represented the uncircumcised penises as they jut through the wall — all bright red and with that disgusting skin on the end. Circumcised penises are okay. Normal looking. But when someone sticks an uncircumcised penis through a glory hole, it’s like, “Oh shit, look at that thing! Arrghh!” So we wrote a song about it.
Nice. As for the carrot and celery bunches, we’re assuming you used fresh, organic produce?Kim: No, not at all. We don’t believe in free range. We prefer the best caged vegetables on the market. Those miserable little suckers never, ever saw the light of day.
How cruel. Does your drummer do any other party tricks with long cylindrical vegetables?Rob: Well, he can put a paw paw inside his foreskin. Does that count?
Kim: He can do balloon tricks, too. He inserts a sausage, then brings it back out bent and twisted perfectly into the shape of a penny farthing bike.
Wow! What’s with the delay pedal on your guitar, Rob — you forget how to turn it off or something?Rob: Ha ha! No, I actually used to own a collection of small Asian children who were trained to play the guitar immediately in time after me, to get that delayed effect. Alas, budget cuts made them no longer possible.
You guys once played with legendary metallers Judas Priest. Like you, Kim, their singer Rob Halford has a super-high voice and a well-celebrated penchant for black leather, studded jackets and other men. Did you two bond much on tour? Be honest.Kim: Ha ha! Er, no. But the funny thing was, clearly we weren’t the most obvious support for a band like that and, up until then, we’d never actually been heckled by a crowd. But there were these two mullet-head guys up the front calling me a faggot the whole time while we were playing.
How ironic…Kim: Yeah, but I think they meant it as a compliment. Because I’m pretty sure Rob Halford has smoked a fair amount of pole in his time.
You guys are from Brisbane. We hear it’s a real cultural mecca, an artistic hub, a progressive society of architectural splendour. So, you guys get pissed on Bundy rum and XXXX much?
Rob: We like to think of it as more of a sleepy little heroin town.
Can we talk about the band name a bit? A “dead letter” basically refers to undelivered mail. Just wondering, Kim, as a male, do you often fail to deliver?Kim: Ha ha! No, if anything my mail tends to come early. I’m more of an Express Post kinda guy.
Rob: And I’m more of a long distance delivery kinda guy. But really, the whole DLC thing came from the fact we used to be a cover band of TLC — that all-girl r’n’b hip hop band from the ’80s. Unfortunately, their lawyers got in touch and we were forced to expand the acronym out to Dead Letter Circus. The rest, as they say, is history…
Running with the whole “circus” thing, if your muscly drummer is the Strongman, Rob is the Ringmaster and your hairy bass player Stu is the Bearded Lady, what does that make you, Kim? The Trapeze Artist or the Tattooed Freak?Rob: Considering the amount of time we’ve all been inside him, I’d say he’s more the tent. The Big Top.
Er, right. So there’s a lot of man-love going on in DLC, then? Kim: Yup. Definitely.
Anything funny happen lately? Rob: One time we were playing Waves Nightclub in Wollongong, which is divided into a big venue and a small venue. Anyway, we looked up at the big sign and Boys II Men were playing the same night as us in the bigger room, and our name was written underneath theirs. So basically it looked like Dead Letter Circus were playing with Boys II Men, which was a lifelong dream for us, and it finally happened.
Kim: I have a better story... One night, when we were playing with Shihad and in that nervous “need-to-take-a-piss” moment before you go onstage, a certain unnamed member of our band (it might have been our drummer, but I’m not saying) may or may not have been warming up his voice at the same time as urinating. Unfortunately, he sung too big a note and accidentally popped a nugget out into his jeans. So then he’s disappeared, and the stage manager and everyone’s going, “Where the f**k is Licka?”. He was running around desperately trying to find somewhere to put his shit-filled undies (‘cos he’s too poor to buy new ones), and in the end, he stole the plastic cling wrap off Shihad’s cheese platter in their dressing room. They weren’t impressed.
Rob: That’s a true story, by the way. But just for the record, let’s just say it wasn’t Licka...
Duly noted. So, apart from the vengeful members of Shihad, do you guys have any stalkers? Rob: Yeah, there was this old dude in cut-off denim shorts. But we’re seeing each other now, so that worked out well, actually.
Who in the band gets the most girls? Kim: Licka does. He has this ability to reel them in. Like deep-sea fishing with a drift net.
Who in the band gets the most guys?
Kim: Licka again.
Any final words to plug your new album to the plebs? Kim: Yes. As with all things wet and weird, keep an open mind.
Profound. Thank you. Kim: You’re welcome. And can I just say, ZOO Man: touching your nipples and cupping your balls was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to us as a band.
Aw shucks. Us, too...
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