Hey, Christopher! In Kick-Ass you play a casual drug user and part-time superhero. What comic book character do you think could benefit from some “pharmaceutical enhancement”?
Probably Wolverine. He could get really stoned and then, when he gets shot, he won’t even feel it, so he’ll just heal up instantly.

Ever worry people’ll mistake your Red Mist character for a brand of deodorant?
Ha ha! Definitely, if they’re just hearing the name, but once they see the movie they’ll realise I’m a human being. I’m not actually a deodorant stick, I swear.

You wore a wig for the movie — is that the first time you’ve ever paraded around in front of a camera in a toupee?
You know what, I think it is. I’ve never really considered doing it before.

You were a bit of a bad-arse in your Funny or Die clip about piracy. How on Earth were you ever passed-up for Predator 2?
Well, thanks. I read the script and Robert Rodriguez really wanted me for the role but unfortunately I turned it down. I didn’t think it was perfect for me.

Really?
No.

Oh. A while back, a news anchor in New York slapped you live on TV. What the hell happened?
She was asking me how awkward it was to have my mum on set when I was doing the sex scene in Superbad. The thing with that question is I’ve heard it millions of times so I just roll out random answers for the question, and I told her, “C’mon, you know you’ve watched your daughter have sex.” She then got all angry and slapped me. But it was a very playful slap.

Was that the first time you’ve been beaten up by a woman?
Well, not in that context…

Well then, how?
Nothing I’d want to reveal publicly.

You’ve pretty much only starred in major films. So, when can we expect your inevitable downfall and then triumphant Hollywood comeback?
I don’t know, hopefully never. I don’t want to have to go through those bad years.

How comfortable are you being part of a movie which pits a 45-year-old-man against an 11-year-old girl?
It’s fantastic, man. I’m so happy to be part of this movie.

What can we learn from this film?
If you’re going to dress up as a superhero, you’re going to get your ass kicked. It will happen, trust me.

Is it true that Nicolas Cage has been in every single movie ever made since the beginning of time?
Ha ha! Yeah, he has actually. You ever see that movie Nanny McFee? That was Nicholas Cage in make-up.

How long did you get to hang out on the set with him?
I only worked with him for about two hours. He just hung out with the director and worked on his character really, so I rarely saw him.

Why are all action figures clad in leather outfits now? Surely the chafing would hinder any serious long-term chances of justice prevailing?
The suit looks great on camera but, yes, it was very uncomfortable to wear. We were doing 12-hour days and I was sweating a lot so I developed some weird rashes and indentations on my body, which was nice. I also got a lot of unexplainable bruising in my armpits.

Did you say your bruises were from falling down the stairs?
Ha ha! “I fell down the stairs and bruised my armpits”? I don’t think anyone would have bought that, man.\

You originally auditioned for the lead character. Were you more than a little upset when you saw that Aaron Johnson got to feel up Lyndsy Fonseca instead?
Well, it’s hardly my fault that I had too much charisma for the lead! I wasn’t worried at all about that because Lyndsy’s a good friend of mine, so it’s always awkward when you have to make out with a good friend.
Bummer, so you’re stranded in the dreaded “friend zone”, eh?
By my own choice.


After the Sandra Bullock scandal there’s been speculation about the supposed “Oscar curse”. You’re a single guy, so what will happen to you if you ever win? And what is the Oscar curse?
Well, it goes that if you win an Oscar, your significant other will cheat on you. But I plan on being single my whole life, so I don’t have to deal with all of that.

Nice. So we take it you’re you still pulling girls through the legacy of McLovin?
Umm…

Truthfully now…
I don’t really kiss and tell but I’m not usually one to use my stardom to hook up with girls.

Yeah, sure... You have one 30-second fight scene in the movie. How long did you have to train for that?
We trained for about a week, but it was intended to look like a bitch fight, so it was nothing too strenuous.

Were you pretty gutted that you didn’t get to shoot any of the decent guns in the film? Y’know, maybe take a bazooka out for target practice down Sunset Boulevard?
Well, hopefully there’s going to be sequel, so I can have a go at that then.

Kanye West gave you a shout-out when he rapped, “Superbad girls give me McLovin”? Surely you should be getting some residuals out of that?
Ha ha, I wish!

Kick-Ass is in cinemas now.