Hey, Shaun! You guys are one of those MySpace bands, right? Lots of little emo kids wanna be your friends?
Yeah, pretty much. That’s it in a nutshell. We have the whole little emo audience in the palm of our sweaty hands.

Wanting to throttle your own audience, is that a difficult predicament to be in?
Not really. That would be like killing ourselves, and we don’t want to do that. More so wanting to kill all outsiders.

Ah, so you identify yourself as emo?
Not so much any more. As soon as you start to grow facial hair, you no longer fit into that emo bracket any more. It’s very sad.

Seriously, though — you’re only young kids. Does the success go to your head?
Yeah, definitely. You should see when we go out on the town: everyone coming up to us and complimenting us all the time. We have massive, swollen egos. We think we’re the shit. It’s getting out of control.

Your drummer has been quoted as saying Short Stack are the “band of the future”. We know drummers are meant to be the least intelligent members of the band, but that’s a pretty big statement, isn’t it?
Yes, it’s funny. Everyone mentions that quote. The thing is, he never actually remembers saying it.

Well, he is only the drummer — you can always just fire him.
Exactly. They’ve got machines to do that shit now. But I think what he meant is the way the internet is opening up a whole new range of music for people. The internet is the new benchmark, so I guess we are, in a way.

You must get a serious amount of young teenage girls (and guys, from the looks of things) throwing themselves at you. Is a chaperone ever required?
Well, I have a girlfriend but the other guys are batting away girls with sticks. And no, we haven’t had that many offers from dudes just yet.

Only a matter of time, surely?
Yeah, maybe. Umm... I dunno, man.

Isn’t a short stack a type of sickly-sweet pancake meal they serve in American truck stops? Is it a reference to the band’s palatability?
Kind of, but not really. It’s actually a sexual position, where a guy lines up three girls all on top of each and then sticks it to them, one at a time.

That’s a better definition! Let’s go with that one. Stack Is The New Black, your album, has us confused — we thought orange was meant to be the new black?
Dude, I don’t know where you’ve been shopping.

Target and Kmart, usually. Explain the whole meggings and guyliner get-up — keep in mind ZOO’s target demographic is young heterosexual blokes who might find it somewhat confronting and want to bash you.
Ha ha! I think we’re young and we’re trying to do our own thing. You know, we rate bands like Queen, David Bowie, etc, and a lot of bands aren’t doing that anymore. We’re just having fun with it and are trying to give something different a go.

You forgot Poison. They’re an awesome band to emulate.
Exactly, ha ha!

Can we foresee a Revlon sponsorship contract in the works, perhaps?
That would be awesome! If they’re out there and want to give us shitloads of money, we’d happily go on a billboard with Miranda Kerr.

Has The Cure’s Robert Smith ever called demanding you return his fright wig?
No, but if he did, I’d probably turn into a little emo fan-girl on him. I’m a massive fan.

A Cure fan? Wow, you’re becoming more and more credible as this conversation progresses, Shaun.
“Oh my god, he listens to things other than Justin Timberlake!” Ha ha! Thanks.

Tell us about the upcoming gig at the Opera House that you’ve almost completely sold-out.
We were driving past one day and thought, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool to play that!” Of course, we assumed as soon as we proposed it, they’d kick us out like it was disrespectful to even ask. But they’re actually really happy to have us play and we’re stoked to play there.

Will you be performing any opera? Pavarotti’s Nessun Dorma as an encore, maybe?
Not really. We have enough troubleplaying our own stuff.

It’s that high-C at the end that’s a bit of a stretch, huh?
Yeah, I always f**k that bit up.

That’s okay, so did he. Does playing a venue like the Opera House signify that you guys have made that transition into more mature, adult-orientated music — say, in the same vein as Michael Bublé or Susan Boyle?
Ha-ha! Susan Boyle has her own little thing going on. I mean, what the f**k is going on with that? But it is part of our whole maturing process, I guess. We’re working on a new album right now and it’s going to be something completely different. I wonder if the fans of our last one are going to like it, but we’re definitely growing up.

What? More double-kick sections? Some death growls?
Not so much, no. More like Queen meets The Misfits. It’s not really a pop punk album. I mean, I wrote those songs when I was 17 and my musical variety was Green Day to Blink-182. Now I’ve grown up and have explored a few more horizons. I’m listening to a lot of Bruce Springsteen, Michael Jackson, Billy Idol, The Ramones, etc, and in my head I had a definite direction I wanted us to go in.


Were the lyrics to your hit Shimmy A Go Go (“Your finger is on the trigger, so say goodbye/Your finger is on the trigger, so say shimmy, shimmy go go!”) particularly difficult to write?
Ha ha! I was 17, man. And at the time, I was pretty happy with them. But we got into trouble for that song with some radio stations because they read suicidal tendencies into the lyrics. I guess that was the little emo in me at the time.

Would you ever release a Christmas carols album?
Not really. I think you actually need to be able to hold a melody.

True. Have you ever received a death threat?
Yeah, man. Heaps and heaps. I think it’s mainly from disgruntled musicians who sit in their garage and play metal until they’re 35, growing those shit beards. Not even cool beards, but those horrible, horrible long beards with all the disgusting shit in them. I don’t know why it’s always death threats from metal bands. There’s even a whole Facebook hate site dedicated to us, and the guy who runs it just f**king hates us!

Must be jealous of your ever-widening fanbase and the consistently powerhouse riffage you guys deal in.
Well, yeah. People take a lot of shots at us because we’re young and play to a young teenage fanbase every night, but then I don’t really want to go out and play to 35-year-old fat dudes every night. So I think I’m pretty fine where I am, thanks. Ha!\

Well, at least it’s more interesting than people stroking your ego all the time.
Yeah, that shit gets way boring.

You guys are from Budgewoi, which is Aboriginal for “young grass”, right?
Wow, you got it right! You know what, when they told me I was doing a ZOO interview, I did not think for second you would go so in-depth. I’m impressed and surprised.

What? We’re all top-notch journos here.
Really?

No. So we’re guessing you partake in a bit of grass on tour, then?
I actually went to uni and studied media communications, you know?

Ah, we see now — you’re evading the question. Nice to see the record company’s media training kicking in.
We actually haven’t had any media training, I swear. But after John Mayer just used the “n-word” in an interview the other day, our label is just waiting for a major f**k-up from us, ha ha!

What was it like hanging out with The Veronicas? They seem pretty hot...
Yeah, they were cool chicks. Hot? I suppose so, if you’re into that kind of thing.

What do you mean? They’re emo chicks — aren’t they right up your alley?
Emo chicks? No way! The kind of girls I go for are the kind of girls that are on the front cover of your magazine.

Correct answer. Still, we’re desperately trying to get The Veronicas to do a shoot for ZOO. Reckon you could put a good word in for us?
Yeah, why not, man.

We hear you guys are mortal enemies of David Koch after you overtook the Sunrise studio?
No, what happened is we launched our new single, Sweet December, on the show and there were a lot of kids there. I think that kind of mayhem took them by surprise. Any band will tell you, Sunrise is a f**k of a gig — you have to get up at like 4.30am. But everyone there is so bubbly and nice, while inside you’re saying to yourself, “How the f**k are you doing this every single day? It’s way too early!” But I was doubly impressed because Larry Emdur was there and he was in The Castle, and I was f**king obsessed with that movie as a kid. So I went up and got all nervous over him. I ended up getting a photo and everything.

Are you aware Short Stack made ZOO’s “50 People We Hate list” last year?
Yeah, we wear it like a badge of honour.

Well, you’re in good company: Delta Goodrem, The Wiggles, Kanye West…
Well, I kinda like Kanye West.

Really? So you reckon you would have crashed the stage and confiscated Taylor Swift’s trophy?
I don’t think I would have gone that far. Have you seen her? She’s f**king massive, dude. I don’t think I would have been able to reach it even if I wanted to. But yeah, he’s Kanye West. He’s a musical genius. He can do whatever he likes.

So what did you think of this interview with Short Stack, leave your comments below.

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