THE WITCHER 2: ASSASSINS OF KINGS: ENHANCED EDITION
Raucous gaming trolls were outraged when this third-person, fantasy RPG was designed for PC only. But now this console rendition is finally here to tame those wildlings and share some bonus content. You play as a battle-scarred, silver-haired “Witcher”: defined as a mutant engineered to slay monsters with swords and spooky supernatural powers. A cool action sequence here, and topless wench sighting there earned office smiley stamps - but the rest required mind-numbing patience. Even after the snores of a lengthy tutorial, the alchemy crafting shit and cumbersome menus were more head-scratching than the reason why chicks always go to the loo in groups (hot lesbian sex, surely). After some panicking over which buttons cast the doo-hickey spell that kills the whatcha-call-it fella, combat eventually becomes second nature, and dedicated souls are rewarded with a Game of Thrones-like story.
Available: April 17, 2012