Lift your game, Australia! It’s time to relax the censorship laws and quit outlawing  the controversial  games people love.

In one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most alpha roles, Conan the Barbarian, there is a scene where a Mongol General asks, “Conan! What is best in life?” Conan responds, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!”

Well, yes, those things are great. Especially the lamentation of the women. But what Conan forgot to mention is video games, which are freakin’ awesome.

What isn’t awesome are Australian censorship laws. They’re among the strictest in the Western world, which sucks if you like your games with a bit of “high impact violence” or “sexual activity” – and, frankly, what bloke doesn’t? God help you if you enjoy both those things, since it means the game will almost certainly get banned. Other things that attract a ban include: “Cruelty” (whatever that means), the “glorification of graffiti” and drug references.


Over the past few years, 24 games have been banned in Australia, while another 10 were initially banned then, following an appeal, eventually released. Under law, if a game’s content is considered unsuitable for anyone aged over 15 then it is “Refused Classification”, making it illegal.

If Australia had an R-18+ rating, more games would be available to us, like Mortal Kombat, which was outlawed just last month. Unfortunately, we don’t. There are a few reasons behind this:

1) The protection of kiddies from nasty content. Fair enough, but also pretty pointless, since the internet is filled with way worse shit than anything you’d find in a game.
2) Moral grounds. If you don’t like video games with graphic content, don’t play them. It’s just like how we hate Jennifer Aniston movies and choose not to watch them. Pretty simple, really.
3) Violent video games promote violence. Yeah, they probably do. But watching footy or UFC probably does, too, and there aren’t any moves to ban those (thank Christ).


Research conducted in 2009 found that the average Aussie gamer is 30, meaning they probably wouldn’t really need protection from animated fatalities and are old enough not to copy what they see on the screen. That same year, a poll of almost 2000 people was taken and 91 per cent said they were in favour of introducing an R-18+ rating.

The bottom line is: We live in a cool country that’s laidback when it comes to most things. So why not video game censorship? Just let us have our fun decapitating baddies and tagging walls.