Alan Wake
Xbox 360/PC (Microsoft)
Due: MAY
It’s been years in the making, and this hugely cinematic offering of chills ’n thrills is finally gonna be upon us in 2010. Alan Wake’s a suspense novelist who’s just lost his fiancée, and as such is a damaged sort of bloke. He’s decided that moving to the creepy town of Bright Falls (it’s really not bright at all) is the way to go, but this only leads him down a nightmarish path filled with sudden scares and brooding frights.



God Of War III
PS3 (Sony)
Due: MAR
Kratos (the titular God of War here, if you’re totally maggot at this point in the day) is the kind of man who can perfectly juice an orange just by squeezing it in his giant fists. He’s also due for his first gore-spattered gaming debut on a next-gen system — meaning every time you rip out a Cyclops’ eye with your meat-hooks, it’s gonna look messier than ever. Yay!



Resident Evil 5: Lost In Nightmares
PS3/Xbox 360 (Capcom)
Due: JUN
Taking a break from the bleak Africa-based carnage that punctuated Resident Evil 5 like 9mm rivets, Chris Redfield once again teams up with his spunky partner from the past, Jill Valentine. The pair of zombie-slayers hit it old-school, visiting a spooky mansion as they chase after Ozwell E. Spencer, the corrupt nutter behind the Umbrella Corporation’s potentially world-destroying shenanigans.


Mass Effect 2
Xbox 360/PC (Electronic Arts)
Due: JAN
In the first Mass Effect, we got decision-making gameplay, gnarly laser battles with bastard killer machines, and alien lesbian sex. In the second one, we can look forward to more of the same but bigger, better and badder — zipping off to assemble your own motley crew of off-world killers will be a highlight.


Max Payne 3
PS3/Xbox 360/PC (Rockstar)
Due: JUN
Max has seen better days since his time shooting bad guys in slow-mo as a grizzled NYPD officer. Now he’s a balding, middle-aged crank who’s rounder around the mid-section, but is just as handy with a gun and a fistful of bullets. He’s in Brazil these days, blasting the favelas to bits on a super-volatile mission to… we’re not sure, exactly. Be super-volatile? Works for us. Woohoo!



Skate 3
PS3/Xbox 360 (Electronic Arts)
Due: JUL
The skate-rat franchise that dethroned the ailing Tony Hawk is back with its third effort, and it’s set to beef up all the juicy bits that made Skate 2 such an amazing laugh — grislier stacks, gnarlier lines and a whole new bit where you attend skate school and learn how to flip planks from the best. The best not including Tony Hawk, strangely.



Gran Turismo 5
PS3 (Sony)
Due: MAR
The game on every virtual revhead’s lips, we got a brief taste with the cock-teasing Gran Turismo 5: Prologue, and you know what? We want more. Never mind all the amazing cars you can lurch around in or all the fab real-world tracks you can decimate, for the first time ever you can actually damage your ride. Hand us the keys to that Porsche, we’re going out.



Red Dead Redemption
PS3/ Xbox 360/PC (rockstar san diego)
Due: TBA
The sequel to Red Dead Revolver’s sixshooter sandbox epic, you saddle up, partner, as former gunslinger John Marston and trek across the Wild West to track down your old posse’s leader. Cue awesome horse-riding simulation, high-noon quick draws, deadly Frontier towns, sweeping prairies and rugged mountain passes. Just try not to get scalped, cowboy.


Dead Rising 2
PS3/Xbox 360/PC (Capcom)
Due: MAR
So the entire world has been overrun by zombies. It was only a matter of time, really, but that doesn’t mean a bloke can’t have fun with the situation. Enter Chuck, a stunt cyclist who’s unwittingly forced into Terror Is Reality — a gameshow that pretty much involves surviving huge onslaughts of the living dead. Not to worry, though, you can hack their limbs off with a knife and use their heads to play lawn bowls.



Crackdown 2
Xbox 360 (Microsoft)
Due: MAY
Remember the awesome first Crackdown? It was great, a bit like GTA except you could hurl cars around the place and run up the side of buildings instead of taking the lift like sensible people. This time, you’ll be battling an army of frightening mutant anarchists that are just about as astonishing as you are, which means leaping between buildings while fighting. Heaven.



Super Street Fighter IV
PS3/Xbox 360 (Capcom)
Due: MAR
Oh, come on —Street Fighter IV wouldn’t be complete without at least a million more semi-sequels, and this is the first one. It’s not half-arsed by any means, though — along with a butt-load of new characters (Final Fight’s Cody and Guy! Retro-tastic!), the brawling mechanics have been tuned to further perfection. Yes, now it’s actually possible to tackle the mighty Sagat with the mincing Vega and (almost) win.



Darksiders
PS3/Xbox 360 (THQ)
Due: JAN
The Four Horsemen (that’s War, Famine, Death and Pestilence, you uneducated swine) have been duped by their malicious master and sent packing to planet Earth sans their crazy powers. You get to play as the best one — War (come on, who else?) and embark on an insane killing spree, all in the name of reclaiming the ability to destroy entire galaxies just by farting.


Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
PS3/Xbox 360/PC (lucasarts)
Due: JUN
Yeah, George Lucas and his CGI-inflated franchise can go suck our light sabers... except for this pearler new swashbuckler. Picking up from the bestseller before, you play Starkiller (ol’ asthmatic Darth Vader’s secret bad-arse apprentice) and you face off a whole swag of beasties, Imperial stormies, rebel scum and sneaky Sith. Use the Force... or your, er, Y-button.



Metal Gear Solid: Rising
PS3/Xbox 360/PC (Konami)
Due: AUG
With Old Snake buggering off to parts unknown during the massive tail-end of the killer Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots, who’s left to carry the stealth-and-lots-of-story torch? Well, semi-cyborg ninja understudy Raiden, that’s who, and he’s hot on a trail of bizarre conspiracies, hugely elaborate triple-crosses and much lengthy exposition. Don’t worry, though, you get to kill blokes with a massive sword.



Aliens VS. Predator
PS3/Xbox 360/PC (SEGA)
Due: MAR
We’ve seen this one in action and all we can say is: Jay-sus fookin’ Kee-rist, ’cos we’ve come over all Irish from far too many pints of Guinness down the pub. Flick on your invisible camo and hop between the trees looking for skulls as a Predator, spit acid at terrified victims as a fast-moving bastard Alien, or panic and shoot anything that moves as a very sweaty Marine.



Bayonetta
PS3/Xbox 360 (SEGA)
Due: JAN
Despite the sensible ponytail and sincere, librarian-esque spectacles, Bayonetta’s a bad girl. When she’s not stamping your late returns, she’s smashing up evil angels with either a) a giant sword, b) the guns in her super-high high-heels, or c) her hair. Her hair? Yes. It whips all over the place and is capable of bringing down huge fark-off bosses, and what’s more, she gets a bit naked when you do this. It’s rad.



Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
Wii (Konami)
Due: MAR
There ain’t nothing like the kind of nagging psychological terror a good round of Silent Hill with the lights off can instil in a man and, oh no, Wii players aren’t getting away unscathed. You’ll be tripping over horrid creatures in the dark, bumping into faceless nurses and running for dear life from a horde of winged terrors just like the rest of us. Just try not to… Wii yourselves, okay? Er, yes, we just went there, and it was amazing.



Final Fantasy XIII
PS3/Xbox 360 (Square Enix)
Due: MAR
The Final Fantasy series (seriously, they’re up to 13 now, it’s not really “final” at all, is it?) just keeps on reinventing itself. The latest effort in the legendary franchise knocks things into the future, tunes up the biffo mechanics and introduces a bad-arse female protagonist who’s a bit like Milla Jovovich circa Resident Evil, except with a laser-sword.



Enslaved
PS3/Xbox 360 (Namco Bandai)
Due: JUL
Slavery. It’s a terrible thing that affects millions of midgets worldwide, and if we really cared we’d be out there campaigning to stamp it out and make the world right again. Thankfully, this game has nothing to do with keeping tiny men in cages and much more to do with wandering around a post-apocalyptic world with a hot chick, beating up bastard robots on the way home.



Dante’s Inferno
PS3/Xbox 360/PSP (Electronic Arts)
Due: FEB
Dante Alighieri’s going to Hell — but he isn’t dead, he’s just wildly adventurous — the kind of guy that’ll light his farts with a bare arse and risk crippling anal burns. Tripping through Hades for a day or two, you’ll be twirling swords and flinging sorcery about the place while facing off against unspeakable horrors like tentacle demons, Lucifer and, yes, Kyle Sandilands.